Friday, May 29, 2009

Why would this make me drink Diet Coke?

I am sure most of you who have been to an american movie theater in the past few months have seen the, in my mind, rather silly Diet Coke commerical that is attached to the "pre game show" as it were (at least down here in Texas). For those that haven't, here it is:

That, my friends, is Mr. Tom Colicchio...someone who wikipedia tells me is a noted American celebrity chef. Given the option of all the crap he mocks in the commerical would make even me pick Diet Coke over them and I dislike Diet Coke.

Also, I love the waiter at the 25 second mark. With that one simple look, he lets our dear Tom know, "Hey man, you are so right. I mean, I know you chose to come into the place that I work for, apparently, only a Diet Coke since the rest of this place it too gimmicky, over complicated and full of fads, but with your simple hand gesture when you waved away my services you told me that there is a better way to achieve maximum sophistication while keeping complication to a minimum. Thanks to that, I think I will go to one of your craft restaurants to get some food and/or drinks that are not overcomplicated."

This brings me to his restaurants (here is the website: where, i kid you not, the top bar has the following drop down headings:

  • Craft
  • Craftbar
  • Steakcraft
  • Wichcraft
  • Reservations/Hours

Now, maybe it's just the geek in me, but when I hear of something called "wichcraft," no matter how it is spelled, I think of witches. Maybe I am overanalyzing the gimmickyness or over complication with that simple heading, so I will move on to some choice options at his restaurants. Before reading the few things I will highlight, please keep in mind the the big finish in the commercial (which caused our dear waiter to internally expound the entire italicized paragraph above) is from adding garnish to his Diet freaking Coke which was too much for him:

  • Wagyu Carpaccio, Pickled Quail Egg & Fingerling Potatoes
  • Piballes & Sweet Garlic
  • Olive Oil Poached Day Boat Cod, Morels, Fava Beans & Razor Clams
  • Poached Guinea Hen, Wild Onion, White Asparagus & Tortelli
  • Elysian Fields Lamb & Hearts, Baby Artichoke & Ramps
  • Coconut Yogurt Baravois, Basil Syrup & Pineapple
  • Chocolate Ganache Tart, Cocoa Nib & Creamsicle Ice Cream

That list does not even include his section on entire section on mushrooms! Now, granted, I am not what you would call "sophisticated" or "mature" or "smart," but nothing about the few things that I just shared with you gives me the impression that he is following what he is so masterfully preaching in his 30 second Diet Coke commercial.
The options he puts forth are very similar to a point brought up by one of the greatest philosophical thinkers of our age...Mr. Eddie Izzard:


  1. dude chef tom is awesome, you should watch Top chef

  2. Chef Tom might, indeed, be awesome, but c'mon. i have to imagine that i am not the only person who didn't know who he was and, upon finding out who he was, his words didn't match up with his seemingly awesome food options on his website.